Day and Night
by low bit sound ninja
Summary: It's 4/20 and Deidara has only one plan: Smoke all his troubles away. With Konan around, this is sure to be one wild night. One shot


He slept until noon that day. The night before, he and Konan smoked together and from what little he remembered, he made her come so hard that she thought she wet herself. But now, she was long gone. He sat up, and saw a an origami swan on his bedside table. he unfolded it and there was a little note inside. He read it and smiled to himself. She was going to come back later to smoke with him. He fished around for his clothes from yesterday and pulled them on. They were a black tank top and brown cargo shorts. He put up his hair in the usual style and slipped on his shoes before leaving the room. He headed down the hallway, into the kitchen to find something for breakfast. Tobi was sitting at the table and sipping tea. Deidara stopped and watched him just barely lift up his mask so that he could drink. Soon that little cup of tea was empty and Tobi left after saying good morning to Deidara.

When he was alone, he went on full kitchen assault, looking for anything to eat. He came across days-old rice, aa waffle that he made last week, and a beer that had been there for over a month. He knew how old that was because he bought the six-pack it was in and hid it away for later behind Tobi's prune juice. He got out the beer and went back to digging. He found canned food (canned squid? Who does this belong to? he wondered, shaking his head sadly) Konan's stash of chocolate and his stash of cereal. Whenever someoen was sent to go food shopping, Deidara slipped them some money for a few boxes of his favorite kind. He wasn't picked anymore because he got kicked out and banned for life from the only store that the Akatsuki was allowed to shop at. Everywhere else closed the second a member walked into town. He didn't really remember what he did, but the lady who manned the register he always went to was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen and he would try to impress her by sketching something on the back of the reciept she gave him. Sometimes he saw her, but she ran away before he could even say hi.

He shook his head. Today isn't a day of remembering stupid shit like that. he though. He finally settled on leftovers from the night before. Everyone always complained about Hidan's cooking, but he enjoyed it, so the day after he cooked was the day Deidara pigged out on leftovers.

While his food was heating up, Konan came in.

"About last night-"

"What part? Before or after you-"

"Shut up! Why do you have to bring that up! Anyway, I'm sorry that I left you to sleep alone. Something came up. My bong is still in your rooom, right?" She swiped his beer and took a drink. "Blech! This is old!"

Deidara ignored her last statement. "You bringing anything with you tonight?"

"Yeah, When I was on my way back this morning ,I got us soemthing. You'll see what it is later. How much did you get?"

"Ten pounds."

"What!" Konan stood up suddenly. "There's no way we can smoke that much in one night!"

"We'll be tripping too badly to leave the room. Trust me, the last thing you want to see when you're tripping balls is Zetsu passing you in the hallway."

"Why? What happened?"

"I was going to go take a shower and he walked out of the bathroom. Almost gave me a fucking heart attack."

"That's deep. So I'll bring some chocolate and a box of your cereal just in case we're in there for more than a day."

"Good, good." Deidara finishied his beer and crumpled the can. He tossed it into the garbage can and barely made it in. "Come at 4:30. I gotta go clean my room."

He left Konan alone and went into his room. After gathering up his doodles, he put them in his to-burn box, he made his bed, and shoved his dirty clothes in his closet. On the floor, he found Konan's bong and his dresser. He found his under his bed near the ten pounds he stashed away. He thought about smoking a little before Konan came, but decided against it. He smelled himself and frowned. Definitely time for a shower he thought. He gathered up his soap, shampoo and towel, which he kept in any empty space he had and went to the lone bathroom.

He knocked on the door and went in when he didn't hear a response. "Whoa! What the hell!" He shielded his eyes and slammed the door. He knew that Zetsu liked to get off at random places, but damn. Middle of the day in the only bathroom? Damn. Deidara went back into his room and came back twenty minutes later. This time it was empty. He took a long, hot shower that ended when Tobi pounded on the door. He ended his shower a few minutes later, but didn't get out. He wrapped the towel around his hips and opened the door. 'Go already." he snapped. He wiped some of the steam off of the mirror and brushed his teeth. after he did that, he gathered his dirty clothes and soaps then wetn back to his room.

He was suprised to see Konan sitting on his bed without her Akatsuki cloak on. "What are you doing in here? It's not time yet." he exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's 5:06."

"Oh. Sorry. Could you come back later so that I can get dressed?"

Konan didn't move. "I've seen you naked before. It doesn't matter to me."

Deidara decided not to open his mouth and let the towel fall from his hips. "Why don't you just stay naked? I'm sure that later we'll-"

"No. Hell no." He found another black tank top and another pair of brown cargo shorts and put them on while she watched. One of the things he hated the most was being watched when he got dressed or undressed. "Do you really have to watch me?"

"Yes." He shuddered and she threw a bottle at him. It was gin. "Smoke first?" he suggested, putting it down and going under his bed. He pulled out a pound brick and a metal bowl he used specifically for smoking. He dumped half of the bag in the bowl and lit up a thin piece of paper with his lighter. He dropped it into the bowl and picked up the bottle. He popped it open and took a long drink. She grabbed it out of his hands and they took turns drinking straight from the bottle while waiting for the smoke to take effect. After the second bottle, Konan grabbed Deidara's sketchbook and ripped out a page. "I'm going to show you how to make a pretty swan." she declared. He grabbed it from her. The page she tore out was one he drew of her naked. He hoped that she wouldn't notice. After she spent forty minutes explaining how to fold a swan, the picture was on the visible side and she saw it. "Hey, this girl looks like me. Are you c-c-heating-" Her eyes filled with tears.

"What are you talking about? We aren't even a thing. More like friends with a lot of benefits."

She frowned and threw the swan at him.

"Oh come on, don't get sour with me." He pushed her hair away and found the zipper to her top. He unzipped it so that he could get to her neck. She hit him. "No. That's not going to work this time."she sobbed. Deidara sighed. Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful. he thought. He always avoided getting any emotion out of Konan while she was both drunk and stoned at the same time because it exploded into an overload that she didn't remeber when she sobered. He knew that if she kept it up, she would storm out of the room crying, calling him every name under the sun then would return the next day wanting him. "Konan-chan. That pretty girl I drew is you." he said, unfolding the swan and giving it to her. "That girl doesn't look like me at all!"

"I don't know any other girls who wear origami flowers in their hair. Or have a prettier face."

"You really mean that, Dei?"

"Of course. I haven't seen a prettier girl than you."

She smiled at him and jumped on top.

Five hours later, Deidara woke up suddenly surrounded by a thick fog of weed fumes with Konan sleeping with her head on his chest. He looked over at his alarm clock. It was 1:06. He got under his blanket and accidently woke up Konan. She woke up and groggily follwed him under the blanket and went back to sleep.


End file.
